Heartbreak

"At all times and in all places, in all sorrows and in all afflictions, when the outlook seems dark and the future perplexing, and we feel helpless and alone, the Comforter will be sent in answer to the prayer of faith. Circumstances may separate us from every earthly friend; but no circumstance, no distance, can separate us from the heavenly Comforter. Wherever we are, wherever we may go, He is always at our right hand to support, sustain, uphold, and cheer." 
-Ellen White, The Desire of Ages (669)

Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus.

Tis the Season

No caption needed.

Call of Duty, Black Ops 2

I'm nearly 30 years old, and about to write a video game review.

I wasn't planning to buy Black Ops 2. But when you're making your daily pilgrimage to Starbucks in Target and they have a big convenient display right by the register it's just too easy (props to you Target for store layout and product placement). I enjoy me some running around and shooting video games, especially since I discovered Xbox Live and the potential of always having millions of other geeks peers to populate multiplayer games. I've never been overwhelmingly talented so there's been plenty of room for improvement in the older generation Call of Duty games.

My first experience with this franchise was Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. For those not familiar that three titles previous to Black Ops 2, released in in 2009. The Call of Duty series releases a new title each year, but they have two different development teams. So the even-year releases are from one developer (Infinity Ward) and the odd-year releases are from the other (Treyarch). Don't quote me on this, I really don't know for sure how it all works.

At any rate, because my first experience was with and Infinity Ward game I tend to enjoy those titles better (Modern Warfare 2 and 3). It just seems like everything is faster. You move faster, the guns shoot faster... even turning your head to look around the map seems faster. My reactions always felt slow and sluggish in the original Black Ops game. My carrer average has always been one kill per 2-3 deaths. Like I said, plenty of room for improvement.

After about a month of Black Ops 2 I'm pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, it still feels like I'm trying to run, jump and shoot in a giant bowl of oatmeal, but I'm having fun. Let me itemize the fun:

Maps
I never really noticed it before, but Treyarch really gets maps right. When you're plying a shooter game nothing is more annoying that having only one route to run when your enemies are positioned perfect to pick you off each time you try to escape. Treyarch always provides multiple routes, with an abundance of bypass routes, tunnels, trails and cubbies that allow you to disappear and reappear in places your opponent would never expect. I'll return to maps a little more in a minute.

The Pick-10 System
This addition to the standard Call of Duty format is pure genius. In the past you've been able to select from different categories of weapons, equipment and perks to create a specialized soldier for your style of play. For example, you could pick an assault rifle with some kind of attachement (a scope, grenade launcher or extended magazine) with a pistol as backup, a couple flash grenades, a lethal grenade and some bonuses (picking up ammo from dead enemies, being invisible to radar, running/reloading faster, etc.)

These options have always been confined to specific categories and you could only pick one item from each. You picked a primary weapon, a secondary weapon one perk from each of three categories and a couple pieces of equipment. In Black Ops 2 this process is turned on its ear. Instead of having categories you have 10 "points" to spend in any way you see fit... with some caveats. It still steers you toward a traditional setup. But if there are two perks from the same tier that you really love (For example: Lightweight, which makes you run faster, and Flack Jacket, which protects you against explosions) you can take both! You just have to use one of your points to unlock a "Wildcard" that makes this possible (so it costs you three points for two perks). There used to be a perk that allowed you to have two attachments on your gun. Now that's available by default. Each attachment just costs one of your points. Don't like any of the perks form a certain tier? Don't take any! Just apply that point to something else. This blows the game wide open for really tinkering and creating some amazing custom classes.

Skill-based Matchmaking(?)
Again, not 100% sure on this, but I believe Black Ops 2 is designed to place you in multiplayer games that are populated with players at a similar skill level. Whether or not this is true, I do know one thing. I am BEASTING compared to my previous experiences. I would say my average kill to death ratio is at or above 1:1, and I've had multiple games with ratios approaching 4. In one month I've probably had more of those monster games than the previous three years of playing combined. I haven't paid really close attention, but it seems like the player scores in my games have (generally) all been pretty close. I still haven't quite figured out how that can work when I have really good games, but it seems to somehow...

The Easiest Call of Duty Ever?
It's not just that I'm scoring better than in the past. It's how I'm getting those scores. In the past my class setups and play styles have been extremely predictable. I will spend my entire time using 3-4 guns (out of 20 or so) and try to stick to low-traffic areas where I might surprise someone up close. I've never been able to use the sniper rifles or shotguns, or pretty much any gun that's not fully automatic. My aim is questionable so I need to spray and pray to have any success.

Then comes Black Ops 2... I started out building my usual and comfortable classes, but then the Pick-10 system started calling to me. I decided to try a shotgun class just for fun. Surprise! I started dominating in close quarters. Turns out you just have to pair certain guns with certain portions of the map. And Treyarch's commitment to a labyrinth of passageways is perfect for a shotgun. Ok, how about a sniper rifle. Boom! Dancing from corner to corner, picking enemies off from the other side of the map. I think my first sniper game I went like 7 kills and 6 deaths (which is a really low score) and it's gone up from there. How about a class with lots of perks and no gun at all? WOW! This was really eye opening. When you start with no gun you have to move really tactically around the map. It also forces you to diversify your gameplay to best fit the discarded gun you're able to find for yourself. Last night I started a game with nothing but a pistol and ended up finishing at 18 kills and 8 deaths.  Instead of trying to outgun my opponents by being obvious and direct I'm relying on geography and physics to try and outsmart the other side... and it's working.

Turns out the reduced speed that I found so annoying is actually a benefit, since it's applied across the board. It makes me a more diverse and effective player in the game. It seems like every time a Call of Duty game comes out it's hailed as the greatest of all time. I'm definitely not willing to go that far. Each game is innovative in it's own way. I still like the combination of maps and gameplay from Modern Warfare 2 the best (other than the ridiculously overpowered grenade launchers). I'm actually among the few who really loved Modern Warfare 3 as well. My only knock there was that all the maps seemed very uninspired. Black Ops 2 is clearly worth the price of admission, but I'm actually hoping it ends up challenging me a bit more. Maybe that challenge will simply come from me experimenting with different configurations and playing the game in new and exciting ways.

Visuals 2: Electric Boogaloo

Not much needed in the way of an introduction. Here are some other TV goodies I've been devouring:

Hell on Wheels
There's certain shows you just know you're going to be a fan of. Hell on Wheels was one of those shows for me. Post Civil War drama. Transcontinental Railroad Drama. Racism and class warfare on the praire? Sign me up! It has a storyline that leaves you scratching your head at times. In my opinion, they seem to find ways for everyone to get along a little too easily at times. The show is clearly about unlikely friendships and alliances, but it seems like nearly every connection in the show breaks the conventions of the day. Seems like they were conventions for a reason. Plus, folks are just abundantly tolerant of people they plain don't like. But I'm sure things will boil to a head eventually.

Watch Hell on Wheels if you like:
Bad boys trying to make good
Tattooed prostitutes with hearts of gold
Blue-collar criminals outsmarting white-collar criminals
Working on the railroad, all the live-long day

Dexter
If Hell on Wheels is a no-brainer show for me to watch, Dexter is possibly the ultimate puzzler (besides reality tv). I don't like blood. I don't like bodily fluids in general. Yet I've been pretty captivated by this serial-killer drama for the last couple years. A Miami Metro crime lab geek with a horrific past and a primal urge to dish out frightening vigilanti justice, Dexter Morgan finds himself on a delicate tightrope between humanity and something else. A force he refers to as his Dark Passenger. In the context of the show he's surprisingly likable, for someone who puts a knife in a person's chest nearly every episode. The show is somewhat like Criminal Minds, and that rich psychological aspect is probably part of what engages me between the parts where I'm covering my eyes. There have been some bland and predictable moments, but if you haven't watched Dexter at all you'll be in for a couple moments that absolutely shock and unhinge you.

Watch Dexter if you like
Cat and mouse games
Dark humor
Seeing instant justice served to the dregs of society
Not sleeping at night


In unrelated news, I saw Skyfall this weekend. Most of the comments I had heard lead me to believe that Casino Royale was the best of the recent 007 reboots. I for one really enjoyed Skyfall. I found it to be a great step forward for the series. And by step forward I mean it's bringing things full-circle. It was very un-Bond in and of itself, but this storyline helped us return to the glory days of this franchise, without the added baggage of excessive cliches and laughable fight scenes. While it may not have delivered on everything that a 007 flick is known for, I think down the road we'll look back on Skyfall as an essential moment, a necessary step to get us to a better place.

Visuals

These days TV is confusing.

There's no apparent rhyme or reason to when seasons begin and end. No standard season length. If it wasn't for DVR this would be an extremely difficult time to be a viewer.

Thankfully we do have that advantage. As well as Netflix and a host of other great options. Instead of watching shows in weekly installments now we can pick a show and devour it in all our free time. We define our own seasons and schedules. When I find some free time here's how I've been assaulting my eyes:

Mad Men:
For my money this is currently the 800-pound gorilla of television. Since I don't watch reality tv I consider this to be the show at the moment.  It keeps you captivated with strong and flawed characters, and still manages to produce a couple watercooler moments each season. Don Draper, top-shelf advertising professional with a Midas touch and a closet full of skeletons introduces you to the transforming cultural landscape of the 60's and the cutthroat world of advertising. While everyone puts on a bold and ambitious front, you'll find that every character has at least one fatal flaw (beside the standard alcoholism and infidelity) a host of fears.

Watch Mad Men if you like: 

• 1960's Culture and historical events
• Skinny ties
• Advertising/Commercial media
• A little of this:

Justified:

While Mad Men may stand at the top of the mountain in my TV universe, I would say Justified is the show that gets far too little acclaim. Flying beautifully under the radar (possibly because it's on FX, a severely overlooked network in most people's universes), it features strong characters in a complex and ever-twisting plotline. US Marshall Raylan Givens is reassigned to his former home in Harlan, Kentucky after the high-profile shooting of an Miami crime-boss. In addition to old friends (as well as enemies) and the quiet simplicity of country life, he discovers more than enough less than legal activities and personal vendettas to keep him busy. One of Raylan's constant banes, Boyd Crowder, is one of the strongest characters on TV as far as I'm concerned.

Watch Justified if you like:

• Westerns
• Crime Drama
• Dukes of Hazzard meets The Sopranos
• Gorgeous images of the Kentucky countryside

Breaking Bad:

Admittedly not for everyone, I actually avoided this show for a long time. It seems to have a strong following. Surprising when you consider that it's about a science teacher turned meth cook. Turns out the strong following is for good reason. The show is dark to be sure. And frankly, Walter White frequently drives me crazy. In fact, he's a "hero" that it's practically impossible to like. Quite an accomplishment for a cancer patient. One of my favorite parts of Breaking Bad is reoccurring shot they use throughout the series. The camera is placed below a pane of glass and gives you an upward perspective on the action taking place above (ie: pouring toxic chemicals into beakers, stashing money/drugs in the toilet, chopping vegetables). 

Watch Breaking Bad if you like:

• Seeing people pushed to the brink
• Glimpses of hope 
• Sticking it to the man
• Getting frustrated/angry/annoyed at the characters

There are a couple other shows I should weigh in on, but this is getting rather lengthy. Another time perhaps!

Son: A Finale

As predicted, I blazed my way through Son this weekend. While it was longer than the first two sequels to The Giver, I found myself captivated, anxious and angry at myself at 2 a.m. when I finally forced myself to put the Kindle down and sleep.

The story was beautiful. It answered most of my questions and wrapped things up in a fairly acceptable package. After certain other book series' *coughhungergamescough* that seem to weaken at the finish it was a delight to read Son and have it second to only The Giver in terms of its strength and force. I was devastated thrilled and inspired by the way things played out.

I'll refrain from deeply reflecting on the messages/themes that I took away from the story. There's so much to ponder, but it's all very spoiler related. So do yourself a favor, read these books and then let's talk. :)

Thank You Lois Lowry

Just finished wiping my eyes and now I'm ready to dive in with a couple more Kindle Reviews.

Gathering Blue is the first sequel to The Giver. At first I was worried that this book was later in the series, because there was no connection with the original storyline. I actually checked a couple times and finally satisfied myself that it must be connected somehow.

The similarities were there. A dystopian society, rigidly structured and organized. A powerful few in charge, maintaining order and keeping the populace in their prescribed place. An emerging preteen protagonist, who senses something is amiss and wonders what else could be possible. Again, color plays an essential role. Again, there is deception and misdirection, an apparent need for change and the visionary youth becomes the catalyst.

It wasn't until I started Messenger that I confirmed these worlds were indeed connected. For Jonas' and Kira's worlds, and indeed many others, have found each other through their castaways and pilgrims. But again the world is changing. A dark trouble is creeping in, threatening to choke out the harmonious and benevolent balance of Village, this new place. Jonas (Leader now, as everyone in Village is simply named by their identified role in society) senses it. Matty, a once rambunctious youth from Kira's place senses it. And even across the vast and darkening expanse of Forest Kira senses it. Can these three find a way to restore order and goodness to a world on the brink?

It's safe to say the Kindle has endeared itself to me. I picked up momentum reading Gathering Blue and seamlessly devoured Messenger in less than a day. Granted they were short reads, but I simply could not put them down. I know there's so much in these stories that is speaking to me, but in a way I'm not fully understanding. It's about maintaining a naive and youthful outlook, unburdening yourself from the weight of possessions, status and honor. Putting others ahead of yourself, knowing and understanding how the world usually works and choosing to a more helpful and nurturing outlook.

There one last chapter to the story, Son.  I should blaze through it this weekend. The stories have been beautiful so far, but somehow... incomplete. I hope this conclusion brings everything together and prepares me to let go of these characters. To accept where their world has arrived and prepared to bring their memory to my own.

Review: The Assassin's List

Just finished my second book on the Kindle. The Assassin's List, by Scott Matthews. Another free, or nearly free, title as I decide if this device will replace printed pages in my hands.

It was an engaging and entertaining read. The story clipped along quickly, a pleasant mix of Tom Clancy and Hardy Boys for big boys. About what you'd expect for a military-themed patriot action drama. The story follows Adam Drake, an ex Delta Force operator turned PDX lawyer. Fascinating read since the story was based locally and included the Clancy-esque constant dropping of extremely specific names/locations. Drake's US Senator father calls in a favor to have him investigate an unusual murder at a local company with national security ties and lands the young lawyer back on the front lines of a deadly conflict.

Managed to get all the way through this book during an extremely busy week at work. This is a testament to the quality story and my embracing the Kindle reading experience. There were a few times where I felt like I was reading a cheap/free piece of literature, but they were few and far between. The story sets up as the first of a few and I'll definitely be willing to shell out some of my hard-earned to see where it goes.

But for now it's on to the first book(s) of significant price I've acquired for the Kindle. While browsing what's out there I discovered that one of my all-time favorite books The Giver, has sequels! I snatched them up and I'm poised to start Gathering Blue, the second installment, next. I actually just re-read The Giver last year so I'm looking forward to seeing what Lois Lowry does next.

I also keep drifting back to Kindle Serials. At a couple bucks for a subscription it seems like an interesting way to consume the written word. There's only a few titles available right now and they're mostly sci-fi/fantasyish. I'll probably pick one out and give it a shot.

Pretty Excited

I'm pretty excited. Let me count the ways:

1. I ordered a bunch of snazzy socks on Woot.com. They've added lots of different categories and I find something that tantalizes me pretty much every day. Generally I use restraint, but when dynamic footwear is on the line you've gotta pull the trigger. Once they arrive I'll have to find some excellent compliments from The Tie Bar.
2. This Kindle thing is pretty exciting. I'm reading a free novel about this army dude turned lawyer who is caught up in a Tom Clancy-eque incident in PORTLAND of all places. It kinda makes me want to drive around and see how well the author actually researched the locations he's referencing. 
3. Kindle usage has prompted me to explore Amazon. Also, there's a podcast I listen to that's sponsored by Amazon, so if I find excuses to buy stuff I can support their show. Not gonna lie... I'm kind liking the possibility of buying groceries on there and having them just show up at my door! I go to my friendly neighborhood produce stand every week, but they don't have any canned/dry goods or cleaning supplies etc. I need to check to make sure the pricing is decent, but it seemed pretty close when I was browsing last night. For a lot of things you have to buy larger quantities, but I'm fine with that. So we'll see how that goes...
4.  Candles. They're pretty exciting.
5. I ended up getting Black Ops 2 on release day. I wasn't planning to (and really wasn't that excited about it), but I broke down on my way home from work. After a mini-rage when I couldn't connect to Xbox Live for a minute I dove in and started having a blast. Pretty excited that Thanksgiving is next week so my brothers will be around and we can have a mini-party. Even though they're more sports game people.
6. I'm excited about sports. NBA, NFL and College Football. Holiday fun times. 

Did I mention I got an Kindle?

I got a Kindle. A fantastic pseudo-impulse buy. I've been pondering the idea of a Kindle for a while, but haven't been able to fully convince myself I needed it. But then I got an Amazon gift card for my birthday and suddenly the Kindle was basically the price of a couple paperbacks.

How could I resist?

I'm still struggling to come to terms with the idea of paying nearly the same price for most ebooks, and not having that extra physical form to occupy my bookshelf. I almost wish there was a way to buy the book and the ebook as a bundle (kind of like you can do with movies now). It would be great to get the book, smell the pages and hold it in my hands, while still getting the "digital copy" that's more portable and tech-savvy. But in the meantime there are plenty of free ebooks to keep me satisfied until I sort this whole business out.

One cool concept with the Kindle is the Serials that Amazon offers. For a couple bucks you can subscribe to an episodic story that gets updated ever couple weeks. I have checked out a couple of these and they sound interesting. I'll probably wait until I finish the free book I'm working on now before I pull the trigger on something like that.

A no-brainer purchase (series of purchases) I had to make though was the three sequel books to The Giver. DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE THREE SEQUEL BOOKS TO THE GIVER???? That's one of my favorite books of all time. I hope these new ones live up to the standard.

Onward

Time to get better at this... So I bought a house, became a puppy daddy and continue to soldier on in personal, professional and existential pursuits. Everything is pretty good.

Becoming a grown-up is tricky. There's a lot to enjoy about it for sure, but it definitely cuts into your free time and bank account. Since when does 7:30 a.m. constitute sleeping in on the weekend? Because now it does. At least I have a natural affinity for doing dishes and folding laundry. So I've got that going for me.

I haven't been traveling enough. It's been cutting into my reading time. Managed to carve out time for State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Positively heartbreakingly perfect. Also ripped through The Hunger Games trilogy. I'm such a young adult! :P Trying to endure The Museum of Innocence. It's mind-numbingly detailed. Only 200 pages to go...

Kinda becoming a candle snob. Or maybe it's just an ambiance snob. I keep plugging away at things, arranging, rearranging and creating.

Hoping to get motivated for some creative activities. Stay tuned...